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Stage 1: Me, have kids? Really?

Your biological clock ticks away and prompts you to smile at every cute baby face you see. Should you start a family of little ones? This tickles your curiosity as you love to "make" babies.

Phase 2: Heavy with Child

The missed period - am I, aren't I? Soon confirmed by the morning trips to the bathroom to meet with you new acquaintances Ralph and Huey. But it is all worth it when you feel that first flutter - was that a kick? Was that his, you-know, on the ultrasound?

Skip ahead a few months. The kicks, elbows, backaches, and swollen ankles become common place. You gasp as you spot varicose veins. Who could have done this to your body?

Here she comes. Your baby pushes and pushes making you have the mouth of a sailor. During labor you decide to never make babies ever again. But wait, she has ten fingers, ten toes, and a sweet smile.

Stage 3: Your life has changed forever.

Sleepless nights, sore nipples, dieting to lose all those extra pounds. Meanwhile, the little darling can do no wrong. Look! She smiles! And she has discovered her toes! I wonder if they really taste so good?

The "firsts" for every occassion erupt. She sits, crawls, stands, and walks to you all on her own. She can eat solid food and go to the potty. You are so proud until she throws an ear piercing tantrum. This doesn't deter your enthusiasm about celebrating her "firsts".

Nursery rhymes and pat-a-cake - crucial for child development but, all too often these days, delegated to the TV.

Your baby heads off to school. You are thrilled, but will miss her at the same time.

Phase 4: Playing outside and with friends

She is no longer your little baby. She goes to school. She wears a uniform that makes her look so independent.

The bathroom humor fills her hours. Who knew going potty could be so hilarious?

The first best friend wonderfully appears while the first brush with rejection sadly appears. She has bumps and scrapes from play. She doesn't understand why things are not always fair.

You want them to be independent, but it is hard. Why can't you have the ability to protect them from the world?

Phase 5: Time for academics

The subject of play turns to math and English. She is a good student, but some students are not. You are lucky to have a smooth academic experience ahead of you.

Even so, there are always the little events to remember - All she wants for Christmas is her two front teeth (along with Barbie and a puppy dog!)

Time too for rules and chores, they're not your little babies anymore!

Phase 6: Almost a teenager

Girls will be girls and boys will be boys - and never the two shall mix. Well, why would they? The girls are all into pink and giggle too much - and the boys are just too cool for such silliness.

Your personal style will not be cool no matter what. No one wears the clothes you have in your wardrobe and your daughter will tell you this every day.

Language. Well cool.

Their voices go up and down. Your daughter is embarassed and proud to shop for her first bra.

Phase 7 - "Kevin goes Large"

Suddenly boys and girls are not so alien after all. Does (s)he fancy me?

Your daughter gives you her advice and opinions whether you ask for them or not.

Parents are out, friends are everything. So is music and fashion. And late nights. "Aw mum, why do I have to be back so early - everyone else is staying until 3 am!" Oh yeah? Are they really?

On special occasions your teenager will open up to you. Just listen, don't preach.

Your daughter becomes an adult. She is back to talking with you and tells you about her life dreams. She is ready to tackle the world.

Phase 8 (well, who said I could count?)

So they've left home - but they are still your little darlings. Your worries and hopes for them continue.

You will always have a place in your heart for your children no matter what they do.

The years will pass so quickly. Make the most of every one of them along the way.